Boy: Do you have fever? Girl: No, why? Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!

Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

Q: What do you call a woman who marries an old, ugly and poor man? A: Stupid!

Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.

Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age.

What are the three fastest means of communication? Internet, telephone, telawoman.

A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said," I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, "I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account. POOF! Next he wished for a Ferrari red in color. POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him. He asked for his final wish, " I wish I was irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.

QUESTION: What's the best way to get a youthful figure? ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

QUESTION: What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman? ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.