Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

MUMMY VAMPIRE: Jimmy, hurry up and drink your soup before it clots.

How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.

Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.

What's Dracula's car called? A mobile blood unit.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor.

Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite? Vein-illa.

Why are vampire families so close? Because blood is thicker than water.

What's a vampire's favorite drink? A Bloody Mary.