Q: What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"? A: FIRETRUCK.

Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them? A. Hosea and Hoseb

The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars. However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave. As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, "Don't worry... it's just the dispatcher toning him out."

A firefighter died and went to hell where he finds a wall of clocks. After seeing all these clocks on a wall, with his friends names under them, he asked the devil, what the clocks mean? "That's easy, each time one of your friends mess up on earth, their clock speeds up one hour." says the devil. "I don't see the Chiefs clock anywhere?" the fireman says. The devil replied, "Oh him, we have his down in the basement, we're using it for a fan."

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam." Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?" In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.

Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

During a big fire downtown the firemen were having a bit of trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor with her baby. The fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built black man burst through the crowd and shouted to the women. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely. After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop. The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and yelled, "TOUCHDOWN!!"

A fire broke out in a six story apartment building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof. When the fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and the Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket. The brunette jumped. As she was falling 'swoosh' the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick. The firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the redhead to jump. "No way! I saw what you did to my friend." exclaimed the redhead. "I am sorry" said the Chief, "My wife was a brunette and she divorced me. I just don't like brunettes. We have no problems with redheads....jump it's your only chance." So the redhead jumped.

Two fellows were sitting in a coffee shop...suddenly the Town's Fire Alarm went off ... one jumped up and headed for the door ... his friend shouted, "Hey, Tom, I didn't know you were a fireman!" Tom replied, "I'm not, but my girlfriend's husband is..."

Q: What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire? A: Lawn chair.