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 Three people were visiting and viewing the Grand Canyon -- an artist, a pastor and a cowboy. As they stood on the edge of that massive abyss, each one responded with a cry of exclamation. The artist said, "Ah, what a beautiful scene to paint!" The minister cried, "What a wonderful example of the handiwork of God!" The cowboy mused, "What a terrible place to lose a cow!"

 The golfing world is celebrating a new invention that promises to revolutionize the sport.

The new device that is receiving so much attention is called the 'bee nut.' It is a fastening attachment that allows players to adjust the heads on their clubs to any angle, saving the need to carry a bagful of clubs.

Thus, for example, a player can use the same club to putt or get out of the sand trap. Genius!

Golf clubs with this modification are selling quickly, and players are taking golfing picnics, so they can try their new . . .

 A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.

"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.

"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.

"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"

 A tailor was a busy man, and made lots of money making clothes for people. One day, Mr Li came in and demanded for a set of clothes.

The tailor replied," I'm very busy. Please come tomorrow. maybe I'll have more time then." Mr Li shouted," No way! I'm going to a very important lunch with my friend today and need a new set of clothes!"

The tailor shouted for his little helper, Button, to serve Mr Li. Seeing the small boy running up to him, the customer shouted," I won't be served by this little shrimp!"

 Karl and Milly were lying in bed one night. Carl was falling asleep but Milly was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily Karl reached across, held her hand for a second, and rolled over to try to fall asleep.

A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he leaned across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled back down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck."

 "Oh, I sure am glad to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother's side). "Now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us."

The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked.
"He told Mommy that he'd climb the walls if you came to visit," answered the boy.

 A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!”

“Ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let’s have a word with him.”

“Say, George, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

 You know it's going to be a BAD DAY when...

1. You wake up face down on the pavement.

2. You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.

3. You turn on the morning news, and they're showing emergency routes out of your city.

4. Your bar of Ivory soap sinks.

5. You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

6. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

7. Your horn gets stuck when you're following a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

 
Two men went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their packs and started to eat them.

The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," the owner complained.

The two men stopped, looked at each other,
and then swapped their sandwiches.