| Jokes | Category |
|---|---|
Knock Knock Who's there ! Celeste ! Celeste who ? Celeste time I lend you money ! | Knock Knock jokes |
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large". Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows". The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"? The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"? | Farmer jokes |
Q: Why don't women have men's brains? A: Because they don't have penises to put them in. | Dirty jokes |
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. | Lawyer jokes |
There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish. At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building the Mexican guy pulled out a taco and he said if I get another taco I am gonna jump off this bulding tomorrow. The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said if I get fried rice tomorrow I'm gonna jump off with you. The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said if I get another ham sandwich I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too. The next day the Mexican guy got a taco so he jumped off. The Chinese guy got fried rice so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich so hey jumped off the building. The next day their wives had a triple funeral and the Mexican guy's wife was crying and she said I could have made him a burrito or something. The Chinese guy's wife was cring and said I could have made him some sushi. Th e Polish guy's wife couldn't stop laughing. The other's asked what was so funny? She stopped for a second and said that he had always made his own lunch. | Ethnic jokes |
Why do you keep going back to that fishing website? I can't help it, I'm hooked. | Internet jokes |
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Lumberjack Barbie ...sleeps all night, works all day | Barbie doll jokes |
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9. | Blonde jokes |
What is the strongest animal? A racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once! | Horse jokes |
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothing seems to scare them away. Another said, "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away." The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!" | Religious jokes |
| TITLE | ARTIST | ALBUM |
|---|---|---|
| Kisses Don't Lie | Rihanna | A Girl Like Me |
| Pon De Replay Remix (Mix) | Rihanna | Music of the Sun |
| One Kiss From You | Britney Spears | Oops I Did It Again |
| Payphone | M2M | The Big Room |
| Say Somethin' | Mariah Carey | The Emancipation of Mimi |
| Cruise Control | Mariah Carey | E=MC2 |
| One of Those Girls | Avril Lavigne | The Best Damn Thing |
| Aun Existe Amor (Love Still Exists) | Celine Dion | A New Day Has Come |
| Hit The Floor | Linkin Park | Meteora |
| Heartbreaker (Remix) | Mariah Carey | Rainbow |